Email Template Review #2: Zendesk-Blog

Email Template Review #2: Zendesk-Blog

This outbound template comes from Zendesk. Template found on: https://www.zendesk.de/blog/sales-email-template/

Overall Score: 3.5/5.0 

TL;DR: A straight forward, no-BS email template. Definitely worth a try with some minor modifications!

Zendesk-Blog

Google translation

Subject: Can I help you with [problem]?

Hello [first name last name],

I hope [company name] is on the road to success. Are you satisfied with your current accounting solution?

We have recently enriched our software with new functions. I think these could be useful for [client company}. Please get in touch if you’re interested in a short chat or demo this week. Of course, this also applies if we [customer companies] can help in other ways.

Best regards
[your name]

 

Subject line

A very specific subject line with the risk of being over-precise. What if the lead doesn’t deal with this particular problem? What if the lead calls this problem with a different name?

 

Salutation

(Cold) Email conversations in the German language are still very formal. Especially in the enterprise space. You don’t say “Hallo {firstname} {lastname}”. Instead you say “Sehr geehrte Frau {lastname}”. And here’s the point: when you reach out in the correct form in German language you have to know their gender:

female: Sehr geehrte Frau {lastname}

male: Sehr geehrter Herr {lastname}

This template just ignores the problem with gender info.

 

Intro

I hope [company name] is on the road to success. I read this as “You haven’t been very successful. Did that change?” Not what you wanted, right? A problematic intro and also not related to the problem and to your solution.

 

Credibility & Curiosity

Are you satisfied with your current accounting solution? Two issues here: 1) “Satisfaction” is not what I seek from my existing accounting solution. You need to address a problem, a pain or a desire. Issue 2) Who is asking? Did you build enough credibility in your previous sentence to ask me this question now?

We have recently enriched our software with new functions. I think these could be useful for [client company}. I struggle: “Smart if true but what if not”?” Give an example which 1 or 2 functions are useful enough to have a call. Or why you did build these functions.

 

CTA – Call-To-Action

Please get in touch if you’re interested in a short chat or demo this week. There’s no need to push for this week. An accounting solution has a long sales cycle. I’m sure you are also happy if the call happens next week.

Of course, this also applies if we [customer companies] can help in other ways? I think this CTA is counter productive. Do you also sell bananas? You just set the expectation that one or two new functions are worth a chat/demo.     

 

Overall

Pretty good template overall. Short, easy language, not salesy, not over-personalized.

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